Sleep paralysis. No more trash can. First day with my girlfriend. Brushing teeth in a whole new way.

October 9, 2024.

It's 2:44 AM. I woke up, probably because it was very hot. I opened the window. If you want to know what mistakes can be made in terms of Feng Shui, you should look at my little sister's room, where I'm currently staying while she's on vacation. The bed is positioned right in the Chi flow between the window and the door, and two large mirrors are directly facing me in bed.

I can't really fall asleep. I'm in a sort of half-sleep state. I hear the clinking of cutlery. Suddenly, I become paralyzed, and it feels as if something heavy is lying on me, pressing down on the blanket and trying to suffocate me. I feel scared. I realize that I’m experiencing sleep paralysis and that’s why I can't move. I calm myself down because I know it will pass soon.

A dozen seconds later. Done. I can move again. It’s 5:42 AM.

I still lay in bed and got up at the alarm time of 8:00 AM. I had set the alarm because I'm driving back today and meeting my girlfriend (girlfriend!🤯) Julia.

I don't feel rested at all. I have slight throat pain when swallowing. And when I look in the mirror, I see dark circles under my eyes that weren't as pronounced yesterday. These are signs that my diet in Borsum, the sleep, and probably the place itself are making me sick. When I say the place is making me sick, I mean that less esoterically. The place simply induces the old, bad habits that used to make me sick, such as snacking too much, sitting too long at the laptop, constantly drinking black tea (at least not coffee), and not wanting to go outside at all. Sometimes it feels like the longer I stay here, the more I slip back into my old self. Therefore, I can't stay here too long. Also, since I've been here, I haven't taken any supplements except for Vitamin D. That could also play a role.

At 9:00 AM, I drove back to Hildesheim. Today, the weather is gray and rainy again. At home, I immediately took my supplements and made an appointment for the witness hearing regarding the flyer incident with the police. I wasn't even aware that Zora not only distributed flyers about me on Schuhstraße but also in other streets. Oh dear… 🙁

When I opened the washing machine door, I was hit by the same plastic smell as when I opened the turned-off refrigerator that I had already sold. I find it disgusting because it shows that plastic particles are transferring into the air from the washing machine, and that’s why I can smell them. I should use the washing machine as infrequently as possible.

I am also giving away the paper trash can. Unfortunately, it doesn't fit in the kitchen cabinet. So I thought about getting rid of it entirely to have an incentive to produce less paper waste. The paper waste I generate will then be disposed of directly in the blue bin when I go out.

After a short stay at Espresso House, I went to my girlfriend. It still feels a bit unusual to refer to Julia as my girlfriend now.

After the rainy weather, my skin was softened from walking barefoot, making it easier for foreign objects to penetrate the sole of my foot. This time, a small, transparent piece of glass had embedded itself in my foot and caused pain. With Julia's tweezers, I removed the glass shard, and the pain went away immediately. This is already the second glass shard I've encountered in six months of walking barefoot.

We spent the whole day together. We talked about an important topic: forgiveness. This led us to my dreams about having sex with parents. We wondered what such dreams could mean psychologically. A while ago, I dreamt about having sex with my mother. I would interpret it as feeling smothered by my relationship with her; she mothered me too much.

As evening approached, each of us drew pictures. Julia drew us eating with our hands.

My artwork depicts us naked outdoors in nature, with mountains and yurts in the background—our community. (My penis is not to scale).

We watched three short films. One of them was called "Kingdom." Julia really wanted to show it to me because she thought I would like it. And I did.

Before going to bed, we got hungry and ate a pizza. Julia got all the slices with salami.

We then brushed our teeth in a completely new way that I had never heard of before: with a fine cotton cloth. A piece of fabric is placed on the index finger, and each tooth is brushed without toothpaste. The teeth feel very smooth afterward. Then we used dental floss. While I don't use toothpaste myself, I do use a toothbrush. So, I'm still skeptical, but I will definitely try this method again.

We also brushed our teeth on the bed without the aid of a mirror. I had wanted to establish this habit some time ago to be less dependent on a mirror. Today could be the moment I really commit to this habit.