Ex-girlfriend contacted. Dream about the affair. Homeless people are true urban survivalists. Insight about telepathy. Sleeping without a mattress again.

November 16, 2024.

Before going to sleep, I listened to a podcast from "Unter freiem Himmel - Obdachlos in Berlin" (Under the Open Sky - Homeless in Berlin). If you really want to learn urban survival, you should learn from homeless people. This podcast also helps to break down prejudices against the homeless.

A typical prejudice is when a homeless person drinks alcohol and begs for money. "He'll just use the money for alcohol, so I won’t donate anything." But even an alcoholic needs food, drink, and warm clothing. As an alcoholic, they also need alcohol to relieve the terrible symptoms of alcoholism. They need alcohol just as a non-alcoholic needs water.

For us, ten euros might not be much, but for a homeless person, it means a brief moment to catch their breath and escape survival mode, at least for one day.

And I learned an important survival rule from this podcast: in the cold season, you should never get wet. If your clothes or sleeping bag get wet, it will be nearly impossible to dry them. Wet clothes and sleeping bags don't keep you warm, and that's almost a death sentence when living outdoors. Keeping warm and staying dry is the top priority. It's much more important than having water or food. I can go several days without water. Several weeks without food. But without warmth, just one night can lead to hypothermia, and ultimately, death.

After yesterday's phone call with Julia, I couldn’t really fall asleep. One sentence of hers really stuck in my head.

I thought about Jule. How is she? Does she already have a black belt in karate? Kids? Married? I haven’t heard from her in a long time.

I dreamed: I, Mara, and a third person who belongs to us but whom I don’t know, were sitting at a market in some city. Then, suddenly, Mara disappeared. I searched and searched for her. I asked an older woman if she knew where Mara had gone. She said Mara had walked toward the store "Eierund." I googled where that was and, despite the navigation in the dream, I got lost. It was crowded and tight on the streets. Dark-skinned men with barking dogs on leashes came toward me. I had to get past them. As I did, one of the dogs bit me, and I woke up. Unfortunately, I didn’t find Mara.

I regularly dream of Jule and Mara. In every red-haired woman, I see Mara. She was the first person I ever hormonally fell in love with (I know it has nothing to do with real love). Still, I can’t forget her. I wrote her an email, hoping that she would forgive me.

At 6°C outside, barefoot on my way to the café, I looked at parked cars. Skoda Fabia and Opel Corsa Caravan seem to have enough space to lie down if I fold the back seat forward. Past the store "Eierund." I looked around. Didn’t see Mara.

I remembered September 29, 2024. The day the sister laid Tarot cards for the next three months for me. In November, someone from the past was supposed to return to me. Is it Jule? Is it Mara? Someone else?

While looking out the window, a pretty blonde woman passed by the café in a fast walk. I watched her and admired how beautiful she was. Later, engrossed in reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, I briefly looked out the window again, and suddenly, she was standing right in front of me, at the window, talking to an old woman. This has happened to me several times before. I always thought it was just a coincidence and not worth mentioning. But now I realize that it’s not really a coincidence. The feeling of desire in me creates some kind of telepathic effect. Telepathy seems to work best when I engage with real feelings. Unfortunately, they can’t be forced, and neither can telepathy.

I’ve put the 12cm thick foam mattress, with firmness level 4, up for sale. Tonight, I’ll sleep on a duvet. Underneath, I placed a thin silver heat-reflective mat. This firmness feels much better! I’ll cover myself with the fleece blanket and a thin cotton blanket. I’ve missed this level of firmness. I had already been sleeping on a yoga mat since January 3, 2024, and now I’m returning to this sleeping style. I had actually considered the health and minimalist aspects much earlier, starting from July 9, 2023, and gradually got used to sleeping on the hard floor by slowly reducing the mattress thickness. The biggest advantage of sleeping on the floor: We don’t break our bones as quickly when falling.

While eating a warm meal, I became aware of another advantage of eating with hands. My fingers were ice-cold. After eating, at least the fingers of the hand I ate with became pleasantly warm. In the cold season, I will therefore not only be warmed from the inside with a hot meal but also partly from the outside – provided I eat with hands.

A phone call from Julia.

Today, I’m grateful for:

• That a woman picked up the clothes rack.
• That I’ve broken down prejudices against the homeless.
• That it was quiet and relaxing at the café. I closed eyes and dozed off while sitting
• That I dared to write an email to Jule and Mara. It took some courage.

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